bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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