How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
COCAINE IS GR8
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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