Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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