Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
