You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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