apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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