Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
