Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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