But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
