I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I AM VODKA MAN
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
