just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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