Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
