No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
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And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
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In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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