I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
