If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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