Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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