just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it's great music for shaving your balls
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
