I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
ttyl tear gas
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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