I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
