is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
