May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
