But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize