I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
