I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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