the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize