Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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