He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
