Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
