Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
