I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The Olympian is in my bed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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