I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Randomize
