she was so not down for the gang bang
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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