every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
