feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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