She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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