Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
