I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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