it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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