Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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