He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
