are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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