I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
