just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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