I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
