He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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