I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
