She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
