I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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