i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
