i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
