I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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