Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Randomize
