Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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