Ambien. No doubt about it.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
