Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.

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  (407): Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child. http://tfl.nu/79c5
  Replies (50) Good night (648) Bad night (5885)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.

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  (703): fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it. http://tfl.nu/7sbn
  Replies (11) Good night (4474) Bad night (877)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"

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  (602): and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time" http://tfl.nu/r7we
  Replies (39) Good night (8378) Bad night (3046)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.

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  (803): When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3yj1
  Replies (10) Good night (5543) Bad night (764)
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  (714): View more from California

  the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester

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  (714): the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester http://tfl.nu/u653
  Replies (10) Good night (9458) Bad night (934)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.

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  (859): It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face. http://tfl.nu/gh9q
  Replies (9) Good night (1116) Bad night (2292)
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  (925): View more from California

  After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome

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  (925): After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome http://tfl.nu/nygq
  Replies (10) Good night (3914) Bad night (1186)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  right. well we all have our lows.

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  (516): you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk. (1-516): right. well we all have our lows. http://tfl.nu/vj3x
  Replies (4) Good night (1071) Bad night (1314)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.

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  (914): The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands. http://tfl.nu/vf34
  Replies (5) Good night (2834) Bad night (479)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

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  (330): He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed http://tfl.nu/pn7a
  Replies (4) Good night (944) Bad night (505)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.

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  (713): So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink. http://tfl.nu/45mq
  Replies (4) Good night (947) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  110% paid for our cab with a lap dance

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  (905): 110% paid for our cab with a lap dance http://tfl.nu/ywar
  Replies (8) Good night (1468) Bad night (517)
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  (415): View more from California

  What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises

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  (415): What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises http://tfl.nu/lzak
  Replies (4) Good night (1205) Bad night (440)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever

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  (651): Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever http://tfl.nu/sex2
  Replies (6) Good night (893) Bad night (536)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.

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  (813): Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line. http://tfl.nu/x7j1
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (198)

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