We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
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you lied. pity sex is amazing.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
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I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??