I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...