I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He keeps bees of course he's weird
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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