can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
