You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
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I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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